Nathan just keeps on truckin'. :)
His first day in a wheelchair (day before yesterday) he only lasted 25 minutes before he got dizzy. But yesterday he spent two hours in the wheelchair. In fact, Hannah and I took him outside and wheeled him around the hospital campus for a brisk half-hour. It was a sunny day, but there is still some snow on the ground, and he enjoyed the change of scenery.
We got word today that Nathan's been accepted to a rehab program. (An answer to prayer; see my last blog post.) He'll transfer from the hospital to the rehab center on December 11. (Another answer to prayer.) So he and I continue to hope that he can go back to school in January.
He today saw two opthalmologists to troubleshoot some vision problems. They think his brain's OK, and that his vision will improve with time. So it's a race against the clock (well, a race against the calendar) to get back in the game. :)
I'm reminded of a passage my parents taught us around the dinner table 40 years ago (yep, 40 years ago!): "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and don't forget to thank Him for what He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
No fear :)
Nathan is making progress, day by day. He is in a regular hospital ward now, and is free of tubes and monitors. The physical therapist yesterday helped him into a wheelchair for the first time. And we have submitted an application to a rehab program that is very highly recommended.
Nathan would dearly love to go back to school this coming January. But to pull that off would require that:
1) he be ready to go to rehab within a couple weeks;
2) he be admitted to that rehab program in December in spite of the fact that they presumably try to reduce the number of patients over the holidays (and there are more applicants than spaces in that program year-around!);
3) he finish the rehab program very speedily;
4) the University of Portland allow him to return to school somewhat later than the January 7 first day of classes.
That does sound ambitious, doesn't it? :) But if Nathan can't go back to school here in Salzburg in January, it raises a host of questions about where to go from here.
Our God has already worked wonders for Nathan, so we know very well that he is more than capable of bringing all those things to pass. But the Lord knows better than we what would be best for Nathan. We've gotta trust Him to orchestrate circumstances as He sees fit.
"O Sovereign Lord! You have made the heavens and earth by your great power. Nothing is too hard for you! You are loving and kind to thousands... You are the great and powerful God, the Lord Almighty. You have all wisdom and do great and mighty miracles...."
(Jeremiah 32:17-19)
"Who can forget the wonders he performs? How gracious and merciful is our Lord!" (Psalm 111:4)
"Happy are those who fear the Lord...
They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord to care for them." (Psalm 112:1, 7)
Nathan would dearly love to go back to school this coming January. But to pull that off would require that:
1) he be ready to go to rehab within a couple weeks;
2) he be admitted to that rehab program in December in spite of the fact that they presumably try to reduce the number of patients over the holidays (and there are more applicants than spaces in that program year-around!);
3) he finish the rehab program very speedily;
4) the University of Portland allow him to return to school somewhat later than the January 7 first day of classes.
That does sound ambitious, doesn't it? :) But if Nathan can't go back to school here in Salzburg in January, it raises a host of questions about where to go from here.
Our God has already worked wonders for Nathan, so we know very well that he is more than capable of bringing all those things to pass. But the Lord knows better than we what would be best for Nathan. We've gotta trust Him to orchestrate circumstances as He sees fit.
"O Sovereign Lord! You have made the heavens and earth by your great power. Nothing is too hard for you! You are loving and kind to thousands... You are the great and powerful God, the Lord Almighty. You have all wisdom and do great and mighty miracles...."
(Jeremiah 32:17-19)
"Who can forget the wonders he performs? How gracious and merciful is our Lord!" (Psalm 111:4)
"Happy are those who fear the Lord...
They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord to care for them." (Psalm 112:1, 7)
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Lucky? Or part of a bigger story?
The doctor who yesterday removed the bandages from Nathan's nose was the latest in a series of doctors who have said that Nathan was "very lucky." I know what they mean. It is indeed remarkable that he survived the accident at all. And that he did so without permanent brain damage is more amazing still. But "lucky?!" I don't think so.
The words of Gandalf (the wise old wizard in "The Lord of the Rings") to Bilbo Baggins "fit like a glove" when applied to Nathan's situation:
"You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You are a very fine person, Mr. Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!"
To attribute Nathan's surviving without brain damage to "luck" is to be blind to the "wider world"--the bigger picture, or the bigger story--in which each of us play a small part. There is a cosmic Playwright and Director at work. He uses both "tragic accidents" and "lucky breaks" together to further (and to eventually, to resolve) the glorious plot He has had in mind from before the foundation of the world.
"He is the God who made the world and everything in it. ....He himself gives life and breath to everything. ....His purpose in all this was that human beings should seek him, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him--though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we we 'live and move and exist.'" (Acts 17:28)
"The Lord who created you says: "...I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them.'" (Isaiah 43:7)
"The Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." (Psalm 33:11)
The words of Gandalf (the wise old wizard in "The Lord of the Rings") to Bilbo Baggins "fit like a glove" when applied to Nathan's situation:
"You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You are a very fine person, Mr. Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!"
To attribute Nathan's surviving without brain damage to "luck" is to be blind to the "wider world"--the bigger picture, or the bigger story--in which each of us play a small part. There is a cosmic Playwright and Director at work. He uses both "tragic accidents" and "lucky breaks" together to further (and to eventually, to resolve) the glorious plot He has had in mind from before the foundation of the world.
"He is the God who made the world and everything in it. ....He himself gives life and breath to everything. ....His purpose in all this was that human beings should seek him, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him--though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we we 'live and move and exist.'" (Acts 17:28)
"The Lord who created you says: "...I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them.'" (Isaiah 43:7)
"The Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." (Psalm 33:11)
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving (Part I)
It's Thanksgiving Day in the USA today, and we are very thankful indeed here in Salzburg. Nathan's surgery this noon went just fine, they tell us. That operation (his sixth) is the last of the major operations he needs. He'll be recovering in the ear-nose-throat unit for a couple of days and then they'll transfer him to the trauma unit where they'll continue work on his legs. At the same time, the oral surgery department will begin working on his jaw and teeth. (He is in a university hospital where each specialty has their own unit.)
I have, for some time, been meaning to make a list of the things for which we are thankful in connection with Nathan's accident. It is such a long list that one blog will not suffice to "chronicle" them all. (I share the sentiments of the writer of Psalm 106:2: "Who can list the glorious miracles of the Lord? Who can ever praise him half enough?")
But I'll mention just a few of the ways God cared for Nathan, and for our family, in this first "installment" of an ongoing Thanksgiving blog:
The weekends preceding the weekend the accident, Nathan had been traveling in Prague, Vienna, and Munich, respectively. He returned safely from each of those out-of-town trips. He was struck (as a pedestrian) by a van as he was crossing the street just two blocks from "home" at the University of Portland Center in in Salzburg, Austria. Why is it so wonderful that that accident took place so close to his "home" in Salzburg?
1) Several American doctors have told us that Austria is the home of the world's best trauma surgeons. At international medical conferences, the presenters on trauma surgery are invariably Austrian. (The Austrians have refined the art of treating victims of ski accidents.)
2) Nathan was alone when the accident took place, but the friends with whom he had been "hanging out" in a nearby park heard the accident and hurried to the scene in time to identify Nathan and run back to the Center for help. The University of Portland program director was on the scene before the ambulance could leave, was rushed to the hospital by the police at the scene, and on the phone to us right away.
3) The hospital to which Nathan was rushed by ambulance is close to the Center (in fact, it is within walking distance, and on the same city bus line), making it easy for Hannah and me to commute to the hospital daily and for Nathan's friends to visit frequently. That has been a big encouragement to him.
4) The University of Portland has graciously accommodated Hannah and me at the Center, making it possible for us to stay for an extended period in a city that would otherwise be prohibitively expensive.
Those four items are just the first in a long list of ways in which God has cared for Nathan and for us. Tomorrow's blog will introduce you to "Good Samaritans" (Austrian, American, Filipino, and Chinese) who have come to Nathan's aid and to ours. For tonight, suffice to say that we are thankful...to God, to them, and to you faithful pray-ers.
God bless you this Thanksgiving Day!
I have, for some time, been meaning to make a list of the things for which we are thankful in connection with Nathan's accident. It is such a long list that one blog will not suffice to "chronicle" them all. (I share the sentiments of the writer of Psalm 106:2: "Who can list the glorious miracles of the Lord? Who can ever praise him half enough?")
But I'll mention just a few of the ways God cared for Nathan, and for our family, in this first "installment" of an ongoing Thanksgiving blog:
The weekends preceding the weekend the accident, Nathan had been traveling in Prague, Vienna, and Munich, respectively. He returned safely from each of those out-of-town trips. He was struck (as a pedestrian) by a van as he was crossing the street just two blocks from "home" at the University of Portland Center in in Salzburg, Austria. Why is it so wonderful that that accident took place so close to his "home" in Salzburg?
1) Several American doctors have told us that Austria is the home of the world's best trauma surgeons. At international medical conferences, the presenters on trauma surgery are invariably Austrian. (The Austrians have refined the art of treating victims of ski accidents.)
2) Nathan was alone when the accident took place, but the friends with whom he had been "hanging out" in a nearby park heard the accident and hurried to the scene in time to identify Nathan and run back to the Center for help. The University of Portland program director was on the scene before the ambulance could leave, was rushed to the hospital by the police at the scene, and on the phone to us right away.
3) The hospital to which Nathan was rushed by ambulance is close to the Center (in fact, it is within walking distance, and on the same city bus line), making it easy for Hannah and me to commute to the hospital daily and for Nathan's friends to visit frequently. That has been a big encouragement to him.
4) The University of Portland has graciously accommodated Hannah and me at the Center, making it possible for us to stay for an extended period in a city that would otherwise be prohibitively expensive.
Those four items are just the first in a long list of ways in which God has cared for Nathan and for us. Tomorrow's blog will introduce you to "Good Samaritans" (Austrian, American, Filipino, and Chinese) who have come to Nathan's aid and to ours. For tonight, suffice to say that we are thankful...to God, to them, and to you faithful pray-ers.
God bless you this Thanksgiving Day!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Grateful for His grace, and ever-dependent on His grace
Now that Nathan's heart rate is now within normal range, the surgery that has twice been postponed is scheduled for 11am tomorrow.
The surgery is to seal a crack in the base of his skull with a view to preventing any future infections from reaching his brain through his sinuses and causing meningitis. The surgery is a rather delicate as it involves procedures close to the eyes and to the nerves leading to the nose and mouth, so your prayers for the surgeon's wisdom and dexterity are very much appreciated.
Psalm 103:3-5 describes what the Lord has been doing for Nathan and what we continue to pray for him:
"He...heals all my diseases.
He ransoms me from death
and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.
He fills my life with good things.
My youth is renewed like the eagle's!"
Hannah and I are ever mindful that the Lord's goodness to Nathan has nothing whatever to do with Nathan's worthiness or ours. We were grieved to hear just yesterday about the deaths of a Christian college student killed in an auto accident and of a former missionary's son killed in action in Iraq. And we have had several good friends and missionary colleagues die untimely and painful deaths. We cannot, of course, say why Nathan has been spared. We know that understanding the actions of a God who is both infinite and sovereign is far, far beyond us (Job 42:1-3). But our perplexity does not diminish our gratitude for God's graciously sparing and healing Nathan.
The surgery is to seal a crack in the base of his skull with a view to preventing any future infections from reaching his brain through his sinuses and causing meningitis. The surgery is a rather delicate as it involves procedures close to the eyes and to the nerves leading to the nose and mouth, so your prayers for the surgeon's wisdom and dexterity are very much appreciated.
Psalm 103:3-5 describes what the Lord has been doing for Nathan and what we continue to pray for him:
"He...heals all my diseases.
He ransoms me from death
and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.
He fills my life with good things.
My youth is renewed like the eagle's!"
Hannah and I are ever mindful that the Lord's goodness to Nathan has nothing whatever to do with Nathan's worthiness or ours. We were grieved to hear just yesterday about the deaths of a Christian college student killed in an auto accident and of a former missionary's son killed in action in Iraq. And we have had several good friends and missionary colleagues die untimely and painful deaths. We cannot, of course, say why Nathan has been spared. We know that understanding the actions of a God who is both infinite and sovereign is far, far beyond us (Job 42:1-3). But our perplexity does not diminish our gratitude for God's graciously sparing and healing Nathan.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wow! Was that QUICK!
Yesterday, as Hannah and I were talking about inviting people to pray about Nathan's being so very glassy-eyed, confused, and uncommunicative, I was thinking to myself that I'd sure appreciate a SPEEDY, rather than a slow-but-sure, answer to prayer. But I wondered to myself, "Is it OK to pray that He'll work fast? Is it OK to "rush" the Lord?"
So I was encouraged to read the prayer I quoted in last night's blog--Psalm 79:8: "Let your tenderhearted mercies quickly meet our needs." Asaph (the writer of that psalm) didn't hesitate to ask the Lord to work quickly. So I went ahead and italicized "quickly" in yesterday's blog invitation to pray.
Imagine my delight today to find Nathan better than ever! It was like night to day! From the minute we entered the room, he's back to being alert, communicative, and laughing about how "out of it" he was yesterday. It's wonderful to have him back! In fact, I am so delighted that Hannah has to remind me that he is not altogether "out of the woods" just yet.
Today's glitch is tachycardia (elevated heart rate--as if he's running a footrace). Nathan's heart rate was almost 130 when we arrived this afternoon. They did an ECG to try to identify the reason for that elevated rate, and an internist arrived before long to give him medication that slowed his heart to about 100 by the time we left. The internist wonders if perhaps some of the yogurt Nathan was eating when the seizure took place yesterday ended up in his lungs and is causing infection. The people in the ICU assured us that they saw no yogurt in his lungs (as I understand it, they inserted a tube to take a look, and did an X-ray later in the evening); but whatever the reason, that elevated heart rate has resulted in his surgery being postponed once again. It will be late this week or next week.
In the meantime, Nathan is eager to have visitors and to have books and games on hand to prevent boredom. :) It's quite an emotional roller-coaster we're on. Thank you for keeping Nathan in your prayers. Not only does the Lord answer prayer, but He is sometimes pleased to do so quickly!
So I was encouraged to read the prayer I quoted in last night's blog--Psalm 79:8: "Let your tenderhearted mercies quickly meet our needs." Asaph (the writer of that psalm) didn't hesitate to ask the Lord to work quickly. So I went ahead and italicized "quickly" in yesterday's blog invitation to pray.
Imagine my delight today to find Nathan better than ever! It was like night to day! From the minute we entered the room, he's back to being alert, communicative, and laughing about how "out of it" he was yesterday. It's wonderful to have him back! In fact, I am so delighted that Hannah has to remind me that he is not altogether "out of the woods" just yet.
Today's glitch is tachycardia (elevated heart rate--as if he's running a footrace). Nathan's heart rate was almost 130 when we arrived this afternoon. They did an ECG to try to identify the reason for that elevated rate, and an internist arrived before long to give him medication that slowed his heart to about 100 by the time we left. The internist wonders if perhaps some of the yogurt Nathan was eating when the seizure took place yesterday ended up in his lungs and is causing infection. The people in the ICU assured us that they saw no yogurt in his lungs (as I understand it, they inserted a tube to take a look, and did an X-ray later in the evening); but whatever the reason, that elevated heart rate has resulted in his surgery being postponed once again. It will be late this week or next week.
In the meantime, Nathan is eager to have visitors and to have books and games on hand to prevent boredom. :) It's quite an emotional roller-coaster we're on. Thank you for keeping Nathan in your prayers. Not only does the Lord answer prayer, but He is sometimes pleased to do so quickly!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Dismayed
Hannah and I were very taken aback (and dismayed) on arriving at the hospital this afternoon to learn that Nathan had a seizure this morning and was medicated, such that he was, this afternoon and evening, only minimally responsive. After 48 hours of having our "good old Nathan" back, it was very sobering indeed to see him glassy-eyed and confused. The Nathan we so enjoy is virtually absent.
The doctor on duty this evening attributes the seizure to Nathan's withdrawal from the sedatives that he has been on for weeks, but said that he will have to take medication to prevent such seizures for years to come, perhaps as long as he lives.
Nathan's surgery has been postponed until Wednesday.
We are cast anew on the grace of God, and very grateful for the many who are so faithfully upholding Nathan in prayer. Please join us in praying Psalm 79:8-9 and Psalm 80:1-2, 7, 14-15, 17-19:
"Let your tenderhearted mercies quickly meet our needs,
for we are brought low to the dust.
Help us, O God of our salvation!
Help us for the honor of your name.
Please listen! Display your glory!
Show us your mighty power!
Come to rescue Nathan!
Turn us again to yourself, O God.
Make your face shine down upon us.
Only then will Nathan be saved.
Come back, we beg you, O God Almighty.
Look down from heaven and see our plight.
Watch over and care for this vine that you yourself
have planted,
this son you have raised for yourself.
Strengthen the man you love...
Revive us so we can call on your name once more.
Turn us again to yourself, O God.
Make your face shine down upon us.
Only then will Nathan be saved."
The doctor on duty this evening attributes the seizure to Nathan's withdrawal from the sedatives that he has been on for weeks, but said that he will have to take medication to prevent such seizures for years to come, perhaps as long as he lives.
Nathan's surgery has been postponed until Wednesday.
We are cast anew on the grace of God, and very grateful for the many who are so faithfully upholding Nathan in prayer. Please join us in praying Psalm 79:8-9 and Psalm 80:1-2, 7, 14-15, 17-19:
"Let your tenderhearted mercies quickly meet our needs,
for we are brought low to the dust.
Help us, O God of our salvation!
Help us for the honor of your name.
Please listen! Display your glory!
Show us your mighty power!
Come to rescue Nathan!
Turn us again to yourself, O God.
Make your face shine down upon us.
Only then will Nathan be saved.
Come back, we beg you, O God Almighty.
Look down from heaven and see our plight.
Watch over and care for this vine that you yourself
have planted,
this son you have raised for yourself.
Strengthen the man you love...
Revive us so we can call on your name once more.
Turn us again to yourself, O God.
Make your face shine down upon us.
Only then will Nathan be saved."
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Thanksgiving Day (celebrated) :)
Today (Sunday) is the Thanksgiving Day celebration at both the University of Portland Center and at the International Church here in Salzburg. (There is no Thanksgiving Day holiday in Austria, only a harvest festival, so the expats have chosen to celebrate Thanksgiving Day today.)
I have never been more thankful in all my life. Not only has Nathan's life been spared, and his mind restored, but yesterday's remarkable grace was the way he accepted the way his eagerly-anticipated plans for the holidays have to be postponed.
Nathan has, for many months, been planning on traveling to meet up with close friends over the Christmas break; and he was telling us Friday (his first really lucid day) that "the show must go on." :) But yesterday, in God's providence, an ICU doctor explained to him that, even if he is able to stand by mid-December, he won't have the strength to travel. Nathan immediately accepted that, and told Hannah to email his friends to tell them his plans have changed. Nathan's calm acceptance of such disappointing news is itself a minor miracle. :) I consider it a dramatic result of the prayers of so many for him, and for us as a family.
Last night, on the way home from the hospital, I felt so relaxed. I wondered if it was right to feel that way when the Lord was done such remarkable things for us. Should I not feel excited? But I felt better about feeling so relaxed when, on arriving "home" for the night, I happened to read the words of the psalmist in Psalm 116:6-7: "I was facing death, and then he saved me. Now I can rest again..." :)
My thanksgiving psalm this Thanksgiving Day (adapted from the New Living Translation of Psalm 116:1-9, 12-13, 15, 19):
I love the Lord because he hears and answers prayers.
Because he bends down and listens,
I will pray as long as I have breath!
Death had its hands around Nathan's throat...
Then we called on the Lord:
"Please, Lord, save him!"
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!
Nathan was facing death, and the Lord saved him!
Now I can rest; the Lord has been so good to us.
What can I offer the Lord for all he has done for us?
I will praise the Lord for saving Nathan.
The Lord's loved ones are precious to him;
it grieves him when they die.
Praise the Lord!
I have never been more thankful in all my life. Not only has Nathan's life been spared, and his mind restored, but yesterday's remarkable grace was the way he accepted the way his eagerly-anticipated plans for the holidays have to be postponed.
Nathan has, for many months, been planning on traveling to meet up with close friends over the Christmas break; and he was telling us Friday (his first really lucid day) that "the show must go on." :) But yesterday, in God's providence, an ICU doctor explained to him that, even if he is able to stand by mid-December, he won't have the strength to travel. Nathan immediately accepted that, and told Hannah to email his friends to tell them his plans have changed. Nathan's calm acceptance of such disappointing news is itself a minor miracle. :) I consider it a dramatic result of the prayers of so many for him, and for us as a family.
Last night, on the way home from the hospital, I felt so relaxed. I wondered if it was right to feel that way when the Lord was done such remarkable things for us. Should I not feel excited? But I felt better about feeling so relaxed when, on arriving "home" for the night, I happened to read the words of the psalmist in Psalm 116:6-7: "I was facing death, and then he saved me. Now I can rest again..." :)
My thanksgiving psalm this Thanksgiving Day (adapted from the New Living Translation of Psalm 116:1-9, 12-13, 15, 19):
I love the Lord because he hears and answers prayers.
Because he bends down and listens,
I will pray as long as I have breath!
Death had its hands around Nathan's throat...
Then we called on the Lord:
"Please, Lord, save him!"
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!
Nathan was facing death, and the Lord saved him!
Now I can rest; the Lord has been so good to us.
What can I offer the Lord for all he has done for us?
I will praise the Lord for saving Nathan.
The Lord's loved ones are precious to him;
it grieves him when they die.
Praise the Lord!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Surprise! Surprise!
Our first surprise on reaching the hospital today was an unpleasant surprise. It turns out that the patient in surgery ahead of Nathan had much more complex cancer surgery than was anticipated, such that she took up Nathan's time in the operating room. So he will have to wait until this coming Tuesday for his surgery. That was quite frustrating for all concerned. Even the ICU staff were very frustrated, as Nathan underwent the lumbar puncture procedure yesterday to prep for surgery this morning, and now he will have to undergo that procedure again this coming Monday.
But even that postponement may have a bright side: The surgeons will be discussing Nathan's case further and may be able to combine two or more of the needed procedures when they do surgery on Tuesday. That is, they may operate on Nathan's skull base and on his jaw at the same time (and perhaps even include other procedures as well), minimizing the number of operations needed. And Nathan's first in line for the operating room on Tuesday.
But the disappointment of the postponed surgery was overshadowed by a delightful surprise: Nathan's clarity of mind! He's baaack! :) No hallucinations whatever today. In fact, Nathan's able to start making plans for the future!
Of course, it will take him a while to get clear on the shape of things. For example, he didn't realize that he'd been in a coma for two weeks and has now missed a whole month of school, such that he can't just "pick up where he left off" this semester. Nor did he realize that he can't stand on either leg. (His right leg has the steel inside, but neither leg can bear any weight for several weeks yet.) So we kept busy explaining to him what's happened this past month, and what to expect in the next month or two. He's gradually getting used to the idea that being confined to the hospital and to bed is not a curse, but a necessity, and that it is not a permanent state of affairs but a temporary expedient.
It was just GREAT to be able to reason with Nathan for the first time since the accident. It's great to have his mind back, even if his body is still catching up! We are unspeakably grateful to God, and to those who are praying so fervently and faithfully!
But even that postponement may have a bright side: The surgeons will be discussing Nathan's case further and may be able to combine two or more of the needed procedures when they do surgery on Tuesday. That is, they may operate on Nathan's skull base and on his jaw at the same time (and perhaps even include other procedures as well), minimizing the number of operations needed. And Nathan's first in line for the operating room on Tuesday.
But the disappointment of the postponed surgery was overshadowed by a delightful surprise: Nathan's clarity of mind! He's baaack! :) No hallucinations whatever today. In fact, Nathan's able to start making plans for the future!
Of course, it will take him a while to get clear on the shape of things. For example, he didn't realize that he'd been in a coma for two weeks and has now missed a whole month of school, such that he can't just "pick up where he left off" this semester. Nor did he realize that he can't stand on either leg. (His right leg has the steel inside, but neither leg can bear any weight for several weeks yet.) So we kept busy explaining to him what's happened this past month, and what to expect in the next month or two. He's gradually getting used to the idea that being confined to the hospital and to bed is not a curse, but a necessity, and that it is not a permanent state of affairs but a temporary expedient.
It was just GREAT to be able to reason with Nathan for the first time since the accident. It's great to have his mind back, even if his body is still catching up! We are unspeakably grateful to God, and to those who are praying so fervently and faithfully!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Special request: surgery #6
I'm writing a second blog today to ask for special prayer for Nathan as he goes into surgery for the sixth time, about 11am tomorrow, Salzburg time.
The doctors have been telling us for weeks that Nathan might have an "injury to the skull base, with leakage of cerebrospinal fluid." Only yesterday did the CT scan reveal that that is indeed the case. The surgery is needed to prevent any future infections from reaching his brain through his sinuses, and causing meningitis.
There are the general risks associated with any surgery, but this procedure, so close to the eyes and to the nerves leading to the nose and mouth, is particularly delicate. Please pray that the surgeons will have extraordinary wisdom and dexterity as they perform the surgery.
Hannah and I considered Nathan a hero today. When we told him about his fellow students playing in the 5-6" of snow we got overnight, he calmly said he wished he were playing along with them. He was equally calm as he underwent a lumbar tap to check his spinal fluid for infection. And in the evening, he clarified, "I'll be spending the night here again tonight?"
That Nathan, and Hannah and I, are "on an even keel" at all is surely a wonderful answer to the prayers of a vast host of family and friends who are upholding our family. We are very grateful. Thank you for keeping Nathan and his surgeons in your prayers today!
The doctors have been telling us for weeks that Nathan might have an "injury to the skull base, with leakage of cerebrospinal fluid." Only yesterday did the CT scan reveal that that is indeed the case. The surgery is needed to prevent any future infections from reaching his brain through his sinuses, and causing meningitis.
There are the general risks associated with any surgery, but this procedure, so close to the eyes and to the nerves leading to the nose and mouth, is particularly delicate. Please pray that the surgeons will have extraordinary wisdom and dexterity as they perform the surgery.
Hannah and I considered Nathan a hero today. When we told him about his fellow students playing in the 5-6" of snow we got overnight, he calmly said he wished he were playing along with them. He was equally calm as he underwent a lumbar tap to check his spinal fluid for infection. And in the evening, he clarified, "I'll be spending the night here again tonight?"
That Nathan, and Hannah and I, are "on an even keel" at all is surely a wonderful answer to the prayers of a vast host of family and friends who are upholding our family. We are very grateful. Thank you for keeping Nathan and his surgeons in your prayers today!
Hannah's turn :)
Yesterday was a very heartening day. Hannah's email to family this morning explains. Her letter will serve as my blog for the day. :) Hannah writes:
"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust." (Psalm 103:13,14)
That was how I felt: weak.
After three days of not seeing much improvement in Nathan, my heart cried out for some encouragement. I needed a boost. Wednesday morning, I got a call from Wilma (the sister of a friend from Cebu). Wilma has been a nurse in Vienna for more than 30 years. She told me that Salzburg doctors are experts in trauma cases. We have heard that several times, but it's good to be reminded. So I started the day with renewed strength. I told myself that even if this was another not-so-good day, it would still be a day closer to Nathan's full recovery!
As we went up the stairs to the ICU, we met Nathan's evening nurse on her way down. So right there and then, she gave us a pretty good report on Nathan! He had gotten a good night's sleep. In the morning, they sat him up on the edge of the bed and he managed to use the spoon to feed himself some soup! You can imagine how encouraged I was.
But that wasn't all. When the Lord encourages, he sometimes overdoes it. :) Nathan was wakeful and clear-minded. We brought him his laptop and he was able to use the touchpad to find the songs he wanted to listen to...and later even told me how to go to the song of his choice!
And that's not all...he finished a bottle of the high-calorie drink!
There's more. That evening, while Greg and I waited in the ICU waiting room for the nurses to finish some procedures with Nathan, a man came in. Usually Austrians are not forward when it comes to talking with strangers, much less foreigners; they worry that their English is not good. But not this man. He walked in, sat down, and initiated conversation with us, in English! When we told him why we were there, the first thing he said was: "Good thing it happened in Salzburg; the doctors here are good!" He went on to explain that he was there to see his father who, like Nathan, was hit by a car as a pedestrian...and is now paralyzed from the waist down! I shuddered. That could have been Nathan! I'm afraid to even think what it would be like if he too were paralyzed! I'm thankful our Father only gives us what we can handle!
All this is to say the Lord met me when I was down and out. He lifted my heart up to look to him for strength and hope.
Thank you for praying.
"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust." (Psalm 103:13,14)
That was how I felt: weak.
After three days of not seeing much improvement in Nathan, my heart cried out for some encouragement. I needed a boost. Wednesday morning, I got a call from Wilma (the sister of a friend from Cebu). Wilma has been a nurse in Vienna for more than 30 years. She told me that Salzburg doctors are experts in trauma cases. We have heard that several times, but it's good to be reminded. So I started the day with renewed strength. I told myself that even if this was another not-so-good day, it would still be a day closer to Nathan's full recovery!
As we went up the stairs to the ICU, we met Nathan's evening nurse on her way down. So right there and then, she gave us a pretty good report on Nathan! He had gotten a good night's sleep. In the morning, they sat him up on the edge of the bed and he managed to use the spoon to feed himself some soup! You can imagine how encouraged I was.
But that wasn't all. When the Lord encourages, he sometimes overdoes it. :) Nathan was wakeful and clear-minded. We brought him his laptop and he was able to use the touchpad to find the songs he wanted to listen to...and later even told me how to go to the song of his choice!
And that's not all...he finished a bottle of the high-calorie drink!
There's more. That evening, while Greg and I waited in the ICU waiting room for the nurses to finish some procedures with Nathan, a man came in. Usually Austrians are not forward when it comes to talking with strangers, much less foreigners; they worry that their English is not good. But not this man. He walked in, sat down, and initiated conversation with us, in English! When we told him why we were there, the first thing he said was: "Good thing it happened in Salzburg; the doctors here are good!" He went on to explain that he was there to see his father who, like Nathan, was hit by a car as a pedestrian...and is now paralyzed from the waist down! I shuddered. That could have been Nathan! I'm afraid to even think what it would be like if he too were paralyzed! I'm thankful our Father only gives us what we can handle!
All this is to say the Lord met me when I was down and out. He lifted my heart up to look to him for strength and hope.
Thank you for praying.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A marathon
Nathan's condition has not changed noticeably the past few days. He is still heavily medicated as he recovers from weeks of sedation. He continues to hallucinate on-and-off. At this point, Nathan's clarity of mind is our #1 concern, and the doctors' #1 concern (and the focus of our prayers).
It is not hard to understand Nathan's confusion. Likely he had never, before his accident, seen the sort of "fixator" that is attached to his left leg. He doesn't even remember the accident itself. So to wake up in an Austrian hospital with steel pins, bars, and bolts protruding from his leg must itself seem like a bad dream. When two shattered legs are combined with the effects of being in a chemically-induced coma for weeks, it is tough (literally and figuratively) to "put the pieces together." Nathan goes, from one minute to the next, from intelligently discussing music and literature with Hannah and me (and speaking some German with the nurses!) to seeing imaginary bugs and animals of all sorts hovering around that "fixator."
The surgeons who will do additional surgery on his head will not see him until he moves to intermediate care, but he can't leave the intensive-care unit for the intermediate-care unit until the hallucinations issue is resolved. So we are "on hold" for now.
As to the longer run, the leg surgeon told us yesterday that rehab on his legs will take some three months, once he achieves clarity of mind. The Austrian medical personnel are world-renowned for their expertise in treating accident victims, so we are thinking in terms of Nathan's staying on in Austria for rehab. We're looking into having Andrew and Stacey (Nathan's brother and sister) join us in Salzburg once school's out in December, and then having Hannah return to Manila with Stacey in January while I stay on with Nathan. This is shaping up to be a marathon.
A passage of Scripture that comes to mind when it comes to this marathon: Hebrews 10:35-36 and 12:1-2: "Do not throw away...confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens.... Patient endurance is what you need now.... Since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, ...let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus.... ...so that you don't become discouraged..."
It is not hard to understand Nathan's confusion. Likely he had never, before his accident, seen the sort of "fixator" that is attached to his left leg. He doesn't even remember the accident itself. So to wake up in an Austrian hospital with steel pins, bars, and bolts protruding from his leg must itself seem like a bad dream. When two shattered legs are combined with the effects of being in a chemically-induced coma for weeks, it is tough (literally and figuratively) to "put the pieces together." Nathan goes, from one minute to the next, from intelligently discussing music and literature with Hannah and me (and speaking some German with the nurses!) to seeing imaginary bugs and animals of all sorts hovering around that "fixator."
The surgeons who will do additional surgery on his head will not see him until he moves to intermediate care, but he can't leave the intensive-care unit for the intermediate-care unit until the hallucinations issue is resolved. So we are "on hold" for now.
As to the longer run, the leg surgeon told us yesterday that rehab on his legs will take some three months, once he achieves clarity of mind. The Austrian medical personnel are world-renowned for their expertise in treating accident victims, so we are thinking in terms of Nathan's staying on in Austria for rehab. We're looking into having Andrew and Stacey (Nathan's brother and sister) join us in Salzburg once school's out in December, and then having Hannah return to Manila with Stacey in January while I stay on with Nathan. This is shaping up to be a marathon.
A passage of Scripture that comes to mind when it comes to this marathon: Hebrews 10:35-36 and 12:1-2: "Do not throw away...confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens.... Patient endurance is what you need now.... Since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, ...let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus.... ...so that you don't become discouraged..."
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Trouble enough for today :D
Today's issue: Nathan's continuing to hallucinate. More on that below.
But first, part of the passage I happened to read to Nathan this evening:
"...Don't worry about everyday life... Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.
So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:25, 32-34, New Living Translation)
Jesus' concluding his thoughts on why God's care for us should liberate us from worry by joking about our having "enough trouble for today" almost made me laugh out loud.
I have been worrying about how the next month or two will pan out. (It has become apparent that Nathan will be hospitalized at least until the end of the month.) Even Nathan himself has asked about how the hospital bill will be paid? He must have inherited his father's anxiety. :( We assured Nathan that insurance will pay the bill. (And that is to say nothing of the ways family and friends, in Manila, in Portland...and even the University of Portland center here in Salzburg, have been generously providing for us. I can and will (in a future blog) make a long list of the ways in which the Lord has cared for Nathan, and Hannah and me, and Stacey.)
But the fact is that, while the police investigator is doing a thorough job, we have had to engage an Austrian attorney to see to it that the driver's insurance coverage pays the bills. And getting our family together for Christmas is no simple matter when we are on three continents, and Salzburg is not home.
But those are all tomorrow's worries. And Jesus pointedly asks: "Cannot God be trusted to take care of such things? You've got your hands full with today's issues. (Today's issue: Nathan's continuing to hallucinate, on-and-off. He insists, by the way, he is not alone in that. He told Hannah: "We're all hallucinating...including you." And when I insisted that there is no dog threatening him, he was indignant: "Dad, don't tell me that. We all know full well that there's a dog there. Just because you're not afraid." :D
We left Nathan sleeping very peacefully. That was just wonderful. And I'll work on the legal and insurance issues tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll chuckle at Jesus' light-hearted analysis of our having had just "enough trouble" for today... and enjoy a light-hearted night's sleep.
But first, part of the passage I happened to read to Nathan this evening:
"...Don't worry about everyday life... Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.
So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:25, 32-34, New Living Translation)
Jesus' concluding his thoughts on why God's care for us should liberate us from worry by joking about our having "enough trouble for today" almost made me laugh out loud.
I have been worrying about how the next month or two will pan out. (It has become apparent that Nathan will be hospitalized at least until the end of the month.) Even Nathan himself has asked about how the hospital bill will be paid? He must have inherited his father's anxiety. :( We assured Nathan that insurance will pay the bill. (And that is to say nothing of the ways family and friends, in Manila, in Portland...and even the University of Portland center here in Salzburg, have been generously providing for us. I can and will (in a future blog) make a long list of the ways in which the Lord has cared for Nathan, and Hannah and me, and Stacey.)
But the fact is that, while the police investigator is doing a thorough job, we have had to engage an Austrian attorney to see to it that the driver's insurance coverage pays the bills. And getting our family together for Christmas is no simple matter when we are on three continents, and Salzburg is not home.
But those are all tomorrow's worries. And Jesus pointedly asks: "Cannot God be trusted to take care of such things? You've got your hands full with today's issues. (Today's issue: Nathan's continuing to hallucinate, on-and-off. He insists, by the way, he is not alone in that. He told Hannah: "We're all hallucinating...including you." And when I insisted that there is no dog threatening him, he was indignant: "Dad, don't tell me that. We all know full well that there's a dog there. Just because you're not afraid." :D
We left Nathan sleeping very peacefully. That was just wonderful. And I'll work on the legal and insurance issues tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll chuckle at Jesus' light-hearted analysis of our having had just "enough trouble" for today... and enjoy a light-hearted night's sleep.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Bad days...and better days
Yesterday was a difficult day at the hospital. Nathan's speech was more unintelligible than ever. He could not stay awake or speak loudly and clearly enough to be understood. That was discouraging for both him and us.
Yesterday's grace: The nurse who came on duty just before we left in the evening explained that they had begun giving Nathan a new (to him) drug that is supposed to ease his withdrawal from the sedative he had been on for almost four weeks. But the new combination of drugs, she explained, was to blame for the fact that we'd been unable to understand his speech all day long. She said that he'd soon be off the sedative altogether and that he would then be more wakeful. So we went home hoping for a better day today.
Sure enough, by morning they discontinued the sedative altogether, and continued giving only the three "transition" drugs. Nathan was wide awake all day long and speaking intelligibly. But toward the end of the day he began to hallucinate. Nathan himself used the word "terrifying" to describe what he was seeing (bugs and birds and other animals swarming around and on him).
Today's grace: At the end of the day, as we prepared to leave, Nathan was able to relax. It's hard to say whether he was just worn out, or if the Lord used Hannah's praying aloud for him, and my reading him Psalm 23 and Isaiah 41:10, to provide him enough peace to be dropping off to sleep as we left. But at least Hannah and I can sleep with a mental picture of Nathan's resting peacefully rather than crying out in fear.
Nathan is now being medicated for those hallucinations, but the nurse told us that it is a matter of cumulative effect, so we should not expect the medication to be effective before Monday. She also said, however, that some patients with brain injuries suddenly become perfectly lucid and calm. So we propose to pray that Nathan will be one of those exceptional patients who are suddenly, instantly, "clear as a bell."
As to our experiencing both good days and bad: Hannah reminded me of Ecclesiastes 7:14. My paraphrase of the New Living Translation: "Enjoy your good health and prosperity (and that of your family) while you can. But when hard times strike, realize that God is in both good times and bad. God's character can be relied upon, ...but we don't know from one minute to the next what our futures hold. Nothing is certain in this life. But those who walk by faith enjoy the good times...and trust God's good heart in bad times."
Yesterday's grace: The nurse who came on duty just before we left in the evening explained that they had begun giving Nathan a new (to him) drug that is supposed to ease his withdrawal from the sedative he had been on for almost four weeks. But the new combination of drugs, she explained, was to blame for the fact that we'd been unable to understand his speech all day long. She said that he'd soon be off the sedative altogether and that he would then be more wakeful. So we went home hoping for a better day today.
Sure enough, by morning they discontinued the sedative altogether, and continued giving only the three "transition" drugs. Nathan was wide awake all day long and speaking intelligibly. But toward the end of the day he began to hallucinate. Nathan himself used the word "terrifying" to describe what he was seeing (bugs and birds and other animals swarming around and on him).
Today's grace: At the end of the day, as we prepared to leave, Nathan was able to relax. It's hard to say whether he was just worn out, or if the Lord used Hannah's praying aloud for him, and my reading him Psalm 23 and Isaiah 41:10, to provide him enough peace to be dropping off to sleep as we left. But at least Hannah and I can sleep with a mental picture of Nathan's resting peacefully rather than crying out in fear.
Nathan is now being medicated for those hallucinations, but the nurse told us that it is a matter of cumulative effect, so we should not expect the medication to be effective before Monday. She also said, however, that some patients with brain injuries suddenly become perfectly lucid and calm. So we propose to pray that Nathan will be one of those exceptional patients who are suddenly, instantly, "clear as a bell."
As to our experiencing both good days and bad: Hannah reminded me of Ecclesiastes 7:14. My paraphrase of the New Living Translation: "Enjoy your good health and prosperity (and that of your family) while you can. But when hard times strike, realize that God is in both good times and bad. God's character can be relied upon, ...but we don't know from one minute to the next what our futures hold. Nothing is certain in this life. But those who walk by faith enjoy the good times...and trust God's good heart in bad times."
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Upheld
Nathan is conscious enough now to be occasionally daunted by his circumstances. (When Hannah told him that he will have the external fixator on his left leg for another four weeks, he said: "A month?!" ) But his moments of discouragement are outnumbered by hours of valor. He has been incredibly patient and incredibly brave. I'm proud of him...and I'm grateful to that vast host of family and friends (and even people we do not even know personally) who are upholding him in prayer.
Nathan has been making good progress. In fact, they proposed to transfer him from the intensive-care unit to the intermediate-care unit yesterday. But they decided, at the last minute, to postpone the transfer because he had difficulty with the abrupt termination of the sedation medication he has received for more than three weeks. The next day or two will be particularly challenging mentally and emotionally as they continue "weaning" him from the sedative drugs to which his body has become accustomed. He needs the sort of strength Isaiah 40:27-31 describes:
"...Can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? ...The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth... He never grows faint or weary....He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he gives strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
Nathan has been making good progress. In fact, they proposed to transfer him from the intensive-care unit to the intermediate-care unit yesterday. But they decided, at the last minute, to postpone the transfer because he had difficulty with the abrupt termination of the sedation medication he has received for more than three weeks. The next day or two will be particularly challenging mentally and emotionally as they continue "weaning" him from the sedative drugs to which his body has become accustomed. He needs the sort of strength Isaiah 40:27-31 describes:
"...Can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? ...The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth... He never grows faint or weary....He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he gives strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
He needs shoes! (but not as badly as he needs peace!)
Great news: Nathan needs shoes! I could hardly believe it!
The physical therapist began working with Nathan yesterday to restore a full range of motion in his right knee after three weeks in bed. The external fixator (see the footnote below) on his left leg for the next four weeks prevents any motion in his left knee. But the therapist asked us to bring him a pair of athletic shoes so he can get to his feet. That has been Nathan's desire for several days: "I wanna walk!" he's been saying. So now he'll get his wish. :)
What a difference a day can make! Day before yesterday they moved Nathan from his bed to a huge "chair" (for several hours). (Sitting up straighter raises his blood pressure, which increases his wakefulness.) But by the time we arrived, he wanted to get back in bed. Yesterday was different. He didn't want to go back to bed in the afternoon. (But they put him back anyway. "That's enough...for now," they explained.)
Not good news: Nathan's being gradually weaned from the heavy doses of sedative drugs he has been given these past three weeks results in his being able to remember and think with clarity about many things, but being very confused...and fearful...about other things. Diminishing the dosages of the drugs to which he's become accustomed creates a lot of mental and emotional confusion and distress. That confusion and fear, when combined with the vulnerability of being an invalid in the hospital, is very scary. Nathan desperately needs clarity of mind and peace of heart when it comes to trusting the hospital personnel in a situation that he sometimes finds bewildering and threatening. Pray that Nathan would experience Psalm 3:5-6: "I lay down and slept. I woke up in safety, for the Lord was watching over me. I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side!"
(Fixator: a device that provides rigid immobilization of a fractured bone by means of rods attached to pins that are placed in or through the bone.)
The physical therapist began working with Nathan yesterday to restore a full range of motion in his right knee after three weeks in bed. The external fixator (see the footnote below) on his left leg for the next four weeks prevents any motion in his left knee. But the therapist asked us to bring him a pair of athletic shoes so he can get to his feet. That has been Nathan's desire for several days: "I wanna walk!" he's been saying. So now he'll get his wish. :)
What a difference a day can make! Day before yesterday they moved Nathan from his bed to a huge "chair" (for several hours). (Sitting up straighter raises his blood pressure, which increases his wakefulness.) But by the time we arrived, he wanted to get back in bed. Yesterday was different. He didn't want to go back to bed in the afternoon. (But they put him back anyway. "That's enough...for now," they explained.)
Not good news: Nathan's being gradually weaned from the heavy doses of sedative drugs he has been given these past three weeks results in his being able to remember and think with clarity about many things, but being very confused...and fearful...about other things. Diminishing the dosages of the drugs to which he's become accustomed creates a lot of mental and emotional confusion and distress. That confusion and fear, when combined with the vulnerability of being an invalid in the hospital, is very scary. Nathan desperately needs clarity of mind and peace of heart when it comes to trusting the hospital personnel in a situation that he sometimes finds bewildering and threatening. Pray that Nathan would experience Psalm 3:5-6: "I lay down and slept. I woke up in safety, for the Lord was watching over me. I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side!"
(Fixator: a device that provides rigid immobilization of a fractured bone by means of rods attached to pins that are placed in or through the bone.)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Resting in His arms
Nathan is improving daily, and for that we are unspeakably grateful. But he continues to experience the disorientation and anxiety that are associated with being "weaned" from extended sedation. To see his eyes open wide in fright is painful for those of us who love him. The doctors and nurses assure us that being "agitated" as the sedatives are gradually diminished is normal and inevitable, but everyone agrees that it is difficult for all concerned. It is distressing for the patients and their families; and it is tiring for the nursing staff who have to care for patients who are restless, if not panicked, much of the time.
Nathan's being "agitated" much of the night last night resulted in the nurses' taking him out of his bed and putting him in a huge "chair" during the day today. To do so elevates his blood pressure, increasing his wakefulness, with a view to making him tired enough to sleep at night. But it doesn't appear to me to have worked as planned. Nathan spent much of the day unhappily sleeping in that chair (he was worn out after a poor night's sleep)... and then he again became "agitated" as we were leaving at the end of evening visiting hours.
The hospital does not allow us to stay with Nathan around the clock, but my prayer for Nathan is that he will experience the Lord's holding him--body and soul--in His arms, day and night (Psalm 68:19), and that Nathan's experience of God will mirror that of the Psalmist who observed that "just as a small child is quiet with its mother, yes, like a small child is my soul within me" (Psalm 131:2).
Again, it is absolutely wonderful to see Nathan improving daily. Would to God that he would be able to sleep "like a small child in his mother's arms" tonight as he senses the Lord's carrying him in His arms!
Nathan's being "agitated" much of the night last night resulted in the nurses' taking him out of his bed and putting him in a huge "chair" during the day today. To do so elevates his blood pressure, increasing his wakefulness, with a view to making him tired enough to sleep at night. But it doesn't appear to me to have worked as planned. Nathan spent much of the day unhappily sleeping in that chair (he was worn out after a poor night's sleep)... and then he again became "agitated" as we were leaving at the end of evening visiting hours.
The hospital does not allow us to stay with Nathan around the clock, but my prayer for Nathan is that he will experience the Lord's holding him--body and soul--in His arms, day and night (Psalm 68:19), and that Nathan's experience of God will mirror that of the Psalmist who observed that "just as a small child is quiet with its mother, yes, like a small child is my soul within me" (Psalm 131:2).
Again, it is absolutely wonderful to see Nathan improving daily. Would to God that he would be able to sleep "like a small child in his mother's arms" tonight as he senses the Lord's carrying him in His arms!
Saturday, November 3, 2007
'Tis grace...
When the nurses last night removed the restraints on Nathan's arms (to turn him in bed), he yanked those hated tubes from his nose. Happily, the doctor said that if he begins eating on his own, he can get along without the tubes in his nose. So...
Today's greatest feat was (drum roll, please)... drinking chocolate milk through a straw. (It took Nathan two attempts to pull it off. I never realized just how much strength is required!)
Today's most frustrating feat was... Nathan's making a genuinely valiant effort to write us a message... only to discover, to our mutual frustration, that we had difficulty deciphering what he'd written.
T0day's happiest moment was... seeing Nathan's big smile as Josie put an earphone in his ear so he could hear a familiar song: "Don't Wake Me; I Plan on Sleeping."
Today's saddest moment was... hearing Nathan say, "I wanna go home." And when we began to explain that there is no way he can leave the hospital now... to hear him add, with tears in his eyes, "Please." That was some sort of low point.
More than one doctor and nurse have told us how "very lucky" Nathan is (whenever the condition of his brain comes up). They don't need to elaborate; I know it is a miracle that he survived and that he is coherent and can communicate. But I prefer to call it "grace." So I conclude tonight's blog with a couple of lines, not of Scripture, but of the hymn that both describes Nathan's experience and commemorates our Father's amazing grace:
"Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come,
'tis grace hath led me safe thus fare, and grace will led me home."
Today's greatest feat was (drum roll, please)... drinking chocolate milk through a straw. (It took Nathan two attempts to pull it off. I never realized just how much strength is required!)
Today's most frustrating feat was... Nathan's making a genuinely valiant effort to write us a message... only to discover, to our mutual frustration, that we had difficulty deciphering what he'd written.
T0day's happiest moment was... seeing Nathan's big smile as Josie put an earphone in his ear so he could hear a familiar song: "Don't Wake Me; I Plan on Sleeping."
Today's saddest moment was... hearing Nathan say, "I wanna go home." And when we began to explain that there is no way he can leave the hospital now... to hear him add, with tears in his eyes, "Please." That was some sort of low point.
More than one doctor and nurse have told us how "very lucky" Nathan is (whenever the condition of his brain comes up). They don't need to elaborate; I know it is a miracle that he survived and that he is coherent and can communicate. But I prefer to call it "grace." So I conclude tonight's blog with a couple of lines, not of Scripture, but of the hymn that both describes Nathan's experience and commemorates our Father's amazing grace:
"Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come,
'tis grace hath led me safe thus fare, and grace will led me home."
Friday, November 2, 2007
A wise and generous Father
Nathan is more alert and more communicative every day. We interacted with him, on and off, for almost three hours after today's surgery on his ankle. He speaks just a few words at a time, and they are not easily understood, but his comments make perfect sense, given his perspective on his situation. (For example, he's not all that clear on why he's in the hospital, so he wants to leave immediately. Yesterday I thought that was silly, but today do I realize that it makes good sense. Because he's not clear on the extent of his injuries, he just wants to be someplace more pleasant.)
Nathan has both oxygen and feeding tubes in his nose, and he hates the latter. It bothers him incessantly and he repeatedly tries to yank it out whenever we remove the restraints on his arms. But we were surprised and delighted to hear him say of the tubes "It's the right one" that bothers him. (That tells us that he is able to distinguish right and left...and to say as much!) "It really hurts," he said. But when the nurse very kindly "got in his face" to ask if it was really more irritating than painful, he nodded "yes." And when she explained that, as unpleasant as it is, he has to live with it for now, he settled down (for a while). He's trying to cooperate--when he can remember what's going on. :)
One more example of our interaction, and the way it is both encouraging and frustrating for all of us: I heard Nathan say "Bed back." I quickly assured him that I'd tell the nurses that he had some problem with his back that was bothering him. That got him all the more frustrated. "Bed back," he kept repeating. I finally figured out that he wanted us to adjust the hospital bed--to put the bed "back." (The nurses had him sitting up, and he wanted to sleep.) As soon as we adjusted the bed, he relaxed.
As few as are Nathan's words, and as difficult as it is to understand his speech, I am reminded once again of Psalm 27:8: "My heart has heard you (Lord) say, '...Talk with me.'" What a joy it is to have those we love tell us what they want and how we can help them. That is exactly what our Father in heaven wants us to do. If he doesn't give us exactly what we ask for, as soon as we ask, it is not because he doesn't want what's best for us, but precisely because he does want what's best for us!
"Keep on asking," he says, "and you will be given what you ask for.... For everyone who asks, receives....." (if, in fact, what you are asking for will help you rather than harm you). You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! (If your child is in the intensive-care unit and asks you to remove his feeding or oxygen tubes, or to take him out of the hospital right now, do you do so? Of course not! But will you adjust the bed to make him more comfortable? Absolutely!) If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:7-11)
Hannah and I are unspeakably grateful for the good gifts our Father has been giving Nathan. And for the gift he is giving us. He is giving us our son back...by stages. Nathan's name (in Hebrew) means "he gave." We chose that name because Nathan is a gift from God. And now God is giving him to us a second time.
Our Father is both wise and generous. So "keep on asking" (for example, that Nathan will be granted the courage to keep on when the going is very tough).
Nathan has both oxygen and feeding tubes in his nose, and he hates the latter. It bothers him incessantly and he repeatedly tries to yank it out whenever we remove the restraints on his arms. But we were surprised and delighted to hear him say of the tubes "It's the right one" that bothers him. (That tells us that he is able to distinguish right and left...and to say as much!) "It really hurts," he said. But when the nurse very kindly "got in his face" to ask if it was really more irritating than painful, he nodded "yes." And when she explained that, as unpleasant as it is, he has to live with it for now, he settled down (for a while). He's trying to cooperate--when he can remember what's going on. :)
One more example of our interaction, and the way it is both encouraging and frustrating for all of us: I heard Nathan say "Bed back." I quickly assured him that I'd tell the nurses that he had some problem with his back that was bothering him. That got him all the more frustrated. "Bed back," he kept repeating. I finally figured out that he wanted us to adjust the hospital bed--to put the bed "back." (The nurses had him sitting up, and he wanted to sleep.) As soon as we adjusted the bed, he relaxed.
As few as are Nathan's words, and as difficult as it is to understand his speech, I am reminded once again of Psalm 27:8: "My heart has heard you (Lord) say, '...Talk with me.'" What a joy it is to have those we love tell us what they want and how we can help them. That is exactly what our Father in heaven wants us to do. If he doesn't give us exactly what we ask for, as soon as we ask, it is not because he doesn't want what's best for us, but precisely because he does want what's best for us!
"Keep on asking," he says, "and you will be given what you ask for.... For everyone who asks, receives....." (if, in fact, what you are asking for will help you rather than harm you). You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! (If your child is in the intensive-care unit and asks you to remove his feeding or oxygen tubes, or to take him out of the hospital right now, do you do so? Of course not! But will you adjust the bed to make him more comfortable? Absolutely!) If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:7-11)
Hannah and I are unspeakably grateful for the good gifts our Father has been giving Nathan. And for the gift he is giving us. He is giving us our son back...by stages. Nathan's name (in Hebrew) means "he gave." We chose that name because Nathan is a gift from God. And now God is giving him to us a second time.
Our Father is both wise and generous. So "keep on asking" (for example, that Nathan will be granted the courage to keep on when the going is very tough).
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Ankle surgery...and walking in God's life-giving light
It was an O.K. day at the hospital today. Nathan is frequently lucid. But he is lucid only on-and-off, and his speech is very slurred. They say that his mental confusion and slurred speech are inevitable symptoms of his "withdrawal" from weeks of sedation medication. It is a slow, difficult process to get his "feet back on the ground" mentally. Many of his utterances are incomprehensible, but some are intelligible...and some of his comments provide some comic relief. Early in the day today, he told the nurse that he was at the Manila airport. And he exclaimed to Hannah "Help! Get me outa here!"
Nathan's telling the nurse he's at the Manila airport definitely undermined his credibility in the ICU! :) But his being able to swallow and to squeeze the doctor's and nurse's hands on command entitled him to have the oxygen mask removed. (He still has an oxygen tube in his nose. He doesn't like that one bit, but it is less obtrusive than the big mask that covered his nose and mouth.)
He will have surgery on his left ankle tomorrow. That is good news in that the skin on that ankle has healed to the point that they are willing to make an incision to set the bones.
It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we were, just two weeks ago, praying that pressure on his brain would not cut Nathan's life short. He has come a long way! God has been gracious and we are grateful to Him and to you pray-ers. Join us in a celebratory prayer that looks back to being rescued from death, and forward to a life of "walking in His life-giving light:" "You have rescued me from death... So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light." (Psalm 56:13, New Living Translation) That's a good prayer for any of us, isn't it?
Nathan's telling the nurse he's at the Manila airport definitely undermined his credibility in the ICU! :) But his being able to swallow and to squeeze the doctor's and nurse's hands on command entitled him to have the oxygen mask removed. (He still has an oxygen tube in his nose. He doesn't like that one bit, but it is less obtrusive than the big mask that covered his nose and mouth.)
He will have surgery on his left ankle tomorrow. That is good news in that the skin on that ankle has healed to the point that they are willing to make an incision to set the bones.
It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we were, just two weeks ago, praying that pressure on his brain would not cut Nathan's life short. He has come a long way! God has been gracious and we are grateful to Him and to you pray-ers. Join us in a celebratory prayer that looks back to being rescued from death, and forward to a life of "walking in His life-giving light:" "You have rescued me from death... So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light." (Psalm 56:13, New Living Translation) That's a good prayer for any of us, isn't it?
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